Aesthetic-Poetic Translation

EXAMPLE OF AESTHETIC-POETIC TRANSLATION

Poem by Gede Mangku

Living Voices

When it’s the season for rain

What kind of rain falls

When it’s the season for flowers

What kind of flowers blooms

Morning comes                          

Different voices echo

O my friend

The rain that falls

And the flowers that bloom

Are voices showing solidarity

Towards all workers

Because they live and breathe

With the People

TRANSLATION

Suara- Suara Hidup

Sekali dimusim hujan

Hujan apakah yang turun

Sekali dimusim bunga

Bunga apakah yang kembang

Pagi yang datang

Aneka suara mengguang

Ah sahabat

Hujan yang turub

Dan bunga yang kembang

Adalah suara setiakawan

Terhadap seluruh pekerja

Karena hidup yang nafas

Bersama rakyat

Analysis

Poem of the translation by Gede Mangku is natural and accurate. Translators using a style that is often used in daily for communication and a simple one to understand for his poetry .These words make the reader easy to understand. The translator used word by word for word translation method. But, in this poem have some words which not appropriate like origin content.

For Example:

•  First stanza, we can see the sentence ” When it’s the season for rain”, it can be translate” Ketika di musim hujan “

• Fourth stanza, we can see the sentence “What kind of flowers blooms, that translate into” Bunga apakah yang kembang”. But it can change into,” Bunga apakah yang berkembang”.

• Sixth stanza, we can see the sentence “different voice echo” that was translating into “aneka suara mengguang” it will be better if it’s translated into “Aneka suara yang menggema”.

• Twelfth stanza, we can see the sentence “Because they live and breathe” that was translating into “Karena hidup yang nafas” it will be better if it’s translated into,”karena mereka hidup dan bernafas”.